Surrogacy-What an Adventure!

I had the second Beta today and my level was 152!    The 64 we had two days ago just needed to double for everything to be good and it more than doubled.    Really looks like one strong baby.    Looks like all is just going great.   The first ultrasound will be on April 4th, right around the corner.  Lee and Ty will be there, they do not have to leave until the 7th, that is just wonderful.    I would much rather get to share it with them, then do it by myself.   After all this is for them, plus it will make this seem even more real to them and will be the best send off I could give them as they move to Norway.   

I am doing so much better with my shots.   The shorter needle and morning shootings have been a good thing.   I also slept last night.  I was able to drive myself to the clinic and it was not really a big deal.    

I went in to the clinic yesterday for the offical pregnacy test or BETA, they test the hcg level (pregnancy hormone).   I got a 64, that is a good strong number, they were only looking for a 50.    It was a huge relief to me.   I got positive home tests but it is just so reasuring to get that beta number.    It is difficult for me to drive due to my tush being in pain from the shots.    I was nervous to drive the 40 min to the clinic and then back.    I asked my father if he could take me.   I called him only an hour before I needed to leave, but he is just so sweet.   He said he would love to.   My dad is silly he misses those days when he had to be my taxi.   The nurse at he clinic Barb, went around gloating for me when I went in for the test.  She informed everyone that I got a positive home test already!   While there she also evaluated my rear again.   She said nothing is seriously wrong.   She also said that we have to stay on the same plan for at least two weeks.  That is me taking the shot everyday.  After the ultra sound in two weeks, we evaluate and maybe go to every other day with the shots.  That would rock!    Also so remembered that she had another patient that was thin and she used a one inch needle.    We are not using the one inch needle instead of the one and half inch needle.   I have done two half dose shots with the shorter needle and it was much easier.   I did two half doses because we are also going to morning shots instead of night.    In order to get on that schedule I had to take a half dose yesterday afternoon and the other half this morning.   Hopefully this will help with pain and help me get some sleep.    I will say that I actually got a little more sleep last night, that was nice.    I feeling somewhat better, my right check is better than my left.    I am trying to stay positive that tomorrow will be even better.

I went to my mother’s house yesterday, so that she could give me that afternoon shot.   She had a surprise for me.   She gave me some tulips and a card that read “I am so very Proud of you!”   It was very sweet.    She also asked me if I was planning to do this again.  I told her at least one more time or a sibling project if needed.   She then told me that my dad was worried about me.   After taking me to the clinic and seeing that I was not doing too good.   He is silly.    I told her that things so not always go smoothly and that hopefully next time I can use a different type of progesterone instead of shots.

 Tomorrow I have my second Beta test, I am excited and yet somewhat nervous.    I just do not want anything to go wrong.  

I am having severe withdraw from exercise.    I am use to running about 5 days a week.   I have not ran in about 4 weeks, it is driving my crazy.   I feel sluggish and chubby….LOL!  Hopefully this sore behind will fade and I can get some road work in .   In the end I am just so happy that I am pregnant and have mad my IPs so happy!!  Everything else is small compared to that.    Wow this is going to be just an amazing 9 months.

I have been taking home pregnancy test since the second after transfer.   I wanted to know when I would get a positive.    I took a test at Midnight Friday, or Saturday whatever way you want to think about it.   It was St. Patty’s day and what luck….it was positive!!   I was 5 day post my 5 day transfer.   I was filled with joy and relief.   Later on Saturday I went to Dawn’s house (friend and fellow surro), I brought my test to show her and she was so excited for me and then she mentions that she thinks I am preggo with two!!   Also the day before she had a crazy pregnancy dream and told me it was a good sign for me!!  While at her house I took another test, positive again…yipee!   Then, later that night I took one more and yet again positive.   Here they are check them out….

I had a problem though….how was I going to tell Ty or should I tell her?   If I told Ty, I had to keep it from Lee because Ty had a surprise already planned out for how to to him.   Remember the stuffed Kangaroo I purchased for the last transfer that got cancelled?   Well, I came up with a great way to use it.   I put the test in the pouch along with the joey and put in a gift bag.   I called Ty yesterday and told that I needed to see her.   We decided we would meet today.   She thought we needed to meet about the PIO issues I have been having.   We meet at a Starbucks and I handed her the gift.   She asked why I got her something and looked so puzzled because she was all concerned about my rough time on PIO, it was funny.   She opened it and saw the stuffed animal, thought it was cute then she looked closer and said what are these, refering to the pee sticks.    Then she covered her face and oh my goodness….NO, NO!   Finally she pulled out the sticks and looked at them.   She was overwhelmed with joy and amazement!   I took the 100 pound weight off of her, and she had tears in her eyes and most beautiful smile.   It was wonderful.   It was a great fullfillment for me, amazing!!   I have not been able to share the positive pregnancy with my IMs that way.   The first one was a phone call from Nigeria and a bad connection.   The next one was an e-mail.   I can not describe how it makes me feel inside to know how much emotion I have given her.   She stood up in Starbucks and said “I am pregnancy, I am just so happy, I am going to be a mommy!”   It was too cute.   Then a customer that was leaving stopped and said Congrats Mommy, she lit up!!   Oh and she called Lee’s Mother and told me to tell her.   I have never even met this women….but it was great she is a pistol!   She was very happy and thanked me and then told me stories.

 So, Ty now had a delima….she was just not sure how she was going to keep this a secret form Lee.    She couldn’t, she told him as soon as she got home..LOL!  He then called and harrassed me for keeping it from him.   I told him it was her fault.   Then he told me she has not stopped talking about it and all of Texas knows!!  When I let him go, I said “By Dad!”  He laughed.

 Now I am just so nervous along with the other emotions.   I still have to have the Beta pregnacy test at the clinic.   I am positive but you just never know.     

On another note, I am still having a rough time with the PIO.   I will be going into the clinic tomorrow to get checked by the nurse again and to see if we can devise another plan.   That may be getting another type of oil again, going to every other day, or some other method.   We shall see.   Since my Beta was already scheduled for Tuesday, Ty and I are going to try to get my Beta done while I am there tomorrow.   It does not make sense for me to go down there two days.   I hope so, that will just be the best!!

Well,  last night my shot went well.   We used the new location and the olive oil.  The middle of my tush hurt, but not bad at all.   It was the way I remember it from last time.   Now, I am more optimistic!!   I even got a little more sleep than the previous nights.   I was up and down but not as frequent.    I woke up at 4am and decided not to fight it anymore.    I got up and did some things around the house.   Then I just decided to turn on some music and dance!!    I did not want to lay down or sit, I was peronoid that the pain would get bad in my booty.   I decided a better idea would be to shake my booty!!  I am sure that I looked like a crippled dork, but it was fun anyway.   I was carefree and having fun!!  Guess we will see how tonight goes.  

So, last night I had a complete breakdown!   I took my PIO shot with the new olive oil mix.   Well, I was in complete misery.   As soon as Andrew shot me, this intense pain shot down my leg.   I am not sure that is was due to the olive oil, it may just be from the past shots and pain I was already in.  I could not focus after that, I was a mess.   The pain was unbelievable.   I could not take it anymore, it had been a week of pain and I just burst into tears.   I cried uncontrollably.   I was trying to be immune to the pain and my frustration for the week.    I do not like feeling whimpy.   Plus, it was my idea to be a surro and the shots are part of it.   I also did not want to get Andrew frustrated or upset.   Anyway, I got it out last night.  I also did not sleep yet again, that makes like 5 straight nights, no sleep.  

Meanwhile a storm rolled in, and it was very strong.   I decided to heat up my tush and laid on the heating pad.  In the middle of that, the power went off!!   Then it stayed of and did not come back on until 10am.   

 Here is a little comic relief to my story…. I took a pregnancy test at 6am for fun, and to see the results I had to hold it up to candle light, very silly.   It was negative, to be expected it has only been 3 days since transfer.    Plus, I needed something to occupy my mind.  

 I went to see the nurse, Barb today.   She looked at my tush and said that she wants me to change location of my shots.   She drew a circle on my butt, so we would know where to get the shot.   She thinks I must have hit a nerve on both sides and that my nervers run down my butt in a different pattern than others.   Also, that I still might be having a reaction to the seseame seed oil.   She told me to try tonight again with the olive oil and call her tomorrow.  If things are still bad I may need to go back in on Friday, and new plan can be devised.   We shall see.   I am going to stay strong and make it through this, but yet I am still worried.   I just feel so frustrated.   Moving is so painful, sitting, standing, lying down, everything.   I can not even play with my kids.    Plus, I can not let them touch me except on the hand, the lightest of touch hurts so bad.   My daugher came up behind me and hugged my leg and I just yelled at her.   I felt terrible.  It is a good thing I am on Spring Break this week.  What am I going to do when I go back to work?  I am a coach!!  My husband has had enough.   He just does not like to see me like this.   Plus, we are just so confussed since this did not happen before.   I need to be patient, it will work out in time.    Oh, I better be preggo!!  I might go delirous if not…..LOL  

I started my progestrone in oil (PIO) shots last Monday, March 5th.   The progestrone has to be put in an oil medium.   The type I have used with each cycle is seseame seed oil.   I have not had any problems with these injections in the past, however this time something has not seemed right.   All day on Tuesday and Wednesday I was nausiated.   I figured I must have a bug or something.  Everyone has been sick.   Then, the pain in my behind where I get the injections was really severe.   Soreness is normal, but this pain woke me up and prevented me from sleeping every night.   I thought I may have hit a nerve, so I had my husband give me the shot in a higher location.   This did not solve the problem.   I know that some people have reactions to different oils, so I asked the doctor on transfer day.   She suggested that we switch to cotton seed oil.   My transfer was on Sunday, so I would not be able to change oils until Tuesday.   Bummer….what I really wanted her to say was, “lets get you a different form of progestrone”.   That will not happen there is not way around the injections.   I hate complaining, but it is just not how I remember it with my previous cycles.   After talking to the nurse, I will be getting olive oil sent to me on Tuesday.   I hope this works.    I can handle it either way it is for a good cause!

Ok, so on to transfer day….

The transfer was scheduled for about 9:15.   We were to arrive at the clinic at 9am to speak with the doctor first and I had to get my blood drawn.  They always have to check my hormone levels.  We got there around 8:45, and I found it odd that Ty and Lee were not there yet.   The waiting room was crowded, for a Sunday.   Turns out there were 3 transfers to be done and we were third.   The clinic was running behind so we waited.   Finally, Lee and Ty walk in about 9:05, they were smiling so big and laughed because I had on my Lucky Charms T-shirt.   Ty had a box in her hand.   She gave me the box and said “I always have to give you something that you would never get for yourself.”    It was a really nice purse and I know she thought of me because it was small and sporty, like me….LOL!   I handed her the little gift bag I made up for her.   She opened it and found a small white and green dog inside with a shamrock in his mouth, a tiny box of Lucky Charms, lotion, a candle and a hot wheel toy car for Lee.   The hot wheel was a sports car with clovers painted on it.   I got it for luck and because he had to sell is sports cars to move to Norway.   After she opened the gift, she said that she could not open and read the card.   She told me that they had been sitting in the parking lot for the last 15 min., she was crying and did not want me to see her crying.   She said I would be mad and call her silly.    She is too funny, she knows that I am not a mushy person.    I thought is was cute and so real, her emotions! 

 Finally, we went back to talk to Dr. McKenzie.   She informed us that there were two blastocysts to transfer….that is just awesome!    The best you can transfer.   So, we went back to the transfer section, I changed into a hospital gown and we waited to go last.   It was fun, we were able to just chat together.   Mostly about the upcoming move to Norway.   They have so much going on all at once, it is crazy!  Andrew is so good, the poor thing had to keep doing things for me and then even for the nurse.

In the transfer room, we were able to see the entire trasfer on the ultrasound screen.   The transfer is painless for me, well except for the fact that you must have an overly full bladder for a transfer.   So I am trying to hold it in and then the nurse has to press on my abdomen with the ultrasound probe.   As they get the embryos and put them in my uterus, Ty cried again, so sweet and Lee was so happy and comforting to her.   It was beautiful.   It was the most meaningful transfer I have  experienced.   My first set of parents had been through it before and already had a surro son.   It was nothing new to them and they were too serious.    The second mom I worked with was not even at the transfer, I was all alone.    During this transfer, I could see how amazing this was for Lee and Ty.   Oh, how special it makes you feel inside.    I hope that I am going to change their lives forever.   It is difficult to sit and wonder if the embryos stuck.   I am on bedrest and yet my mind is restless!!   I know that if it does not work it is not my fault, but yet I feel so much responsibility right now.   It is not a bad feeling, it is just different.   Plus, I will be so sad and let down myself.   Honestly, I feel very confident and happy.   I strongly feel that there is one or two babies growing.   Gee, I wish I could find out today!!

 Here are the cute pictures: