Surrogacy-What an Adventure!

I just had to put in a post to wish Dawn, the best.  She is going to start her progesterone shots tomorrow morning!!  OUCH…LOOK OUT BOOTY!!   I know she is nervous yet excited, the transfer is on Monday, which is the perfect day, it is also my birthday…hehehe    This is her second attemp with her intended parents, and it is going to work, I just know it.   That way she will not leave me preggo by myself…..LOL   She has been so good to me and she is just so amazying.  

Whooo, I made it to 9 weeks and earned some good changes!!   Oh, and here is a new picture of my tiny bump!

Last Thursday, the nurse called me to give me my lab results from Wednesday.  She said that I need to stay on my shots until next Wednesday because my progesterone level was only 30.  I figured as much and I could handle one more week.   Friday morning I got my shot and realized that I only had about 3 more doses left in the vial.   I thought it would be silly to order a new vial for what possibly might be only two doses.   I called the nurse and explained it to her.  She decided that I would finish those three doses and come in for lab work on Monday to check progesterone level (maybe I will be done with shots).   Turns out my surro best buddy, Dawn, was going in Monday as well for a lining check.  We decided to go in together.   It was so nice to go with someone.  It made the 45 minute drive so much easier.   When we got to the clinic it was so busy.  Very strange because it is not full in there.  Turns out 5 or 6 people called in, so they were short staffed.   We are in the waiting area to see the nurse and so were about 2 other surros.  In comes the nurse Barb and her eyes were so big!!  She said ok, all of you stay put I will be right back to talk to all of you!!  She comes in takes a girl and then comes back to get Dawn and I.  We all just went into her office and talked together, it was easy and fast.   Barb was too funny, she would point to one of us and say something then point to the other one and say something, then remember something she was suppose to say to one of us and go back and forth!!   As I was leaving I told Barb not to call me unless she had good news for me.   She said “fine I will just e-mail you”, I said “oh never mind call me!”  LOL …Finally she called and said the best thing ever…..do not do another shot!!!  So now the only thing I have to take is my progesterone suppositories until week 12.

 I have been on bedrest all week, trying so hard to deal with it.  I think I handle it quite well!!   And my husband did a great job helping me out.  I wanted to hurry up and get to the clinic for my ultrasound and wouldn’t you know it was pouring down rain!!  Dawn came along with me, she was dying to see Alpha and Bravo.   We finally made it and here is what we got to see……….

  http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g296/coachdenisek/?action=view¤t=35a04419.flv

The babies have grown so much, and they are growing their arms and legs along with facial features like eye sockets.   They have decided to be complete twins now and are both measuring 8 weeks 2 days, with heart rates of 179.     In addition to strong healthy babies, I found out my bleeds are just about gone!!    The nurse came back from talking with the doctor and said that I am not on bedrest just pelvic rest.  I can get up and do things I need to do, but when I can sit I need to sit and no lifting.   She said since I am a coach she did not want me to return to work.   I told her that was silly.    I am not in a season right now and if I need to sit I will sit.  I can do whatever I need to do.  I did not want to miss another week of work for that reason.   So she thought about and said ok, that is fine as long as I will be sitting.   Oh, I am just so relieved.  I will go for my final visit and u/s with that clinic next Wednesday.   I will see my own OB, Dr. Lloyd in 4 weeks on May 23rd.  

This week I finally had a sense of calm come over me, I was more relaxed  and excited about carring the twins.   I went from shock, to nervous, and then hit acceptance.   So, I went through the phases that I assume lots of women go through when finding out they will be carring multiples.   I then had my 8 week ultrasound today.   The babies are fantastic, Alpha measures 7 weeks 5 days, and Beta measures 7 weeks and 4 days.   I am 8 weeks and 1 day today so they are growing just fine.   Their heart rates were so strong, 163 and 170.   The ultrasound tech and I made a joke that Beta could be the girl, small and faster heart rate.  Who knows??   After she examined both twins, she asked me if I had been cramping.   I told her no.   I have had some tummy aches but I thought it was gas or constipation.   I know too much information, but it is just one more wonderful thing of pregnancy!!   She explored on the monitor and then asked if I had been spotting.  I said no.   Finally, she told me that I have two minor subcrionic bleeds.   About this time Wendy came in the room.  Which was great timing.   It was nice to have her there, she knows alot and has seen other surros with these bleeds.  She looked and said that they do not look bad and that lots of women have gotten them.   The tech said that I would need to be put on bedrest.   She then said she had to speak with the doctor, who would most likely come in to see me.   She came back but no doctor with her.  She said he was busy.   She told me I had to be on bedrest for one week and then come back for another ultrasound, to see how the bleed is.   Hopefully, it will get smaller and just reabsorb in my tissue.   I might spot though.    I asked Barb  how you get one of these subcrionic bleeds, she said that it is just from the stretching and pulling of the tissues.   Our tissue is very sensitive and a blood vessel or something might tear.   Not a huge complication unless the bleed is really big, tha may cause problems with the placenta and even miscarrage.   If it does not get as small as they would like in a week I may be on bedrest longer…..lets hope not.   I am kinda upset that the niether doctor could come in and examine the bleed or at least speak to me.   I have had three ultrasounds and still have not spoken to a doctor.   Here is a link to view the  wonderful video from today and then some pictures.

http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g296/coachdenisek/?action=view¤t=b75b079a.flv

Let the mind games continue.   I was relaxed and the worries had faded for me, but now the nervousness might come back.   I was not too concerned when she told me what was going on.   I know that it happens often.   Also, I was not agrivated about the bedrest, I just want to grow healthy babies.   Now that I am home, the idea of bedrest is starting to bother me.   I will not be able to do anything with my kids, cook, go out, work, ect.   I am just not good at sitting around.   In the long run it will be just fine, and I will do anything to help these twinkies.   It is happy bedrest!!   Poor Andrew, he is not too happy with the situation, but I can not blame him that is normal.   I am taking it as it is a one week thing, then I will see what happens at the ultrasound.   Andrew on the other hand, he starts thinking ahead but negatively.   Like I will be on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy.   I was somewhat aggrivated with him, then I just let him vent.   I know he needs to get it out.  I also know he will be fine and willing to do whatever has to be done for the twinkies.   He truely is very supportive of the surrogacy, it just gets hard at times.   Plus, he was never really wanted me to carry two, but it is what it is and he has accepted it.   However, now you throw this curveball and it adds to any worry that he has.   My sister is so nice she volunteered to pick up Madison and take her to daycare and bring her home too.  

Oh, I almost forgot…..Barb said that she still hopes to get me off of that progesterone shot and she will call me tomorrow.   She might tell me to only shoot up every other day for another week.  That would rock!!  

Today has been one of those days…..

 I got a call during my first period class today from the daycare.   Turns out my daughter had lice.  This was not a complete surprise for me.  My son had it two weeks ago.  I assume from the baseball helmets.   I treated him and did not see any on Madison.  Well, she had them on Saturday and I treated her.  Then, I had to treat my son again on Sunday (yesterday).   I figured they were gone and I was finished with the bugs.   Wrong!!!   I was not able to leave my school until 3rd period.  I picked up my daughter and was not too happy.   I did not want to deal with this again, I was so frustrated.   Plus, I really do not have any vacation days left.   I really did not want to take off from work.   In addition, I figured my daughter would be difficult to handle getting the critters out of her hair.   Ok, so I bribed her, I told her if she could behave and stay still we could go to Build a Bear Workshop.   I do not like to do that but sometimes you just have to.  Hey, it worked!! 

Also, the past three days I have been sooooo queezy.   I can eat and get around but it does not feel so nice.   I am just thinking it is a great sign, the babies are growing extra this week!! 

 Today my surro friend Kristen, had her ultrasound.   She is only 2 days behind me, but her first ultrasound got pushed back twice, the poor girl and her IPs.   I am sure the wait was just dreadful.   Her beta numbers were through the roof, like three times mine, so we have been teasing her that she was having more than two.  Plus, she has been sooo sick!   I was waiting for her to call me and finally the phone rang.   It is twinkies for her too, it is so exciting.  We will be preggo together and with twins.   I just can not believe it.

  While talking to her she mentioned a shooting.   I told her I had no idea what she was talking about.  Turns out the biggest school shooting in history happened today at Virgina Tech University.   I had not seen the news all day and was shocked.   A man shot at least 50 people and killed 32.   Then, he shot himself.    This just makes me so sad and angry at the same time.   I know it is mean and very wrong to say but, why couldn’t he just have killed himself when he woke up this morning and left everyone else alone.   I know this is nothing new and usually these kinds of tragedies end up this way, but it just irritates me so much and makes me so sad.  At the same time, I feel so terrible for the shooter.  That something went so wrong inside and he could not find his way out.   It also makes you appreciate your life that much more.   How silly of me to worry about head bugs, it is such a small thing.   I should have just considered it a blessing that I got to miss school and spend time with my daughter.   I will be praying for all the families involved and those injured from the shooting.   I will also being giving thanks for all of my wonderful blessings.

 Just one more thing that I realized while writing this.   When I was pregnant with Anthony in 1999, the shooting in Columbine occured.   When I was pregnant with Madison in 2001, 911 occured.   When I was pregnant with Winter, my first surro baby, the hurricanes Rita and Katrina occured.   And now with this pregnancy the Virgina Tech shooting.  What is with my pregnancies and tragedies?   Very odd…..

My ultrasound was scheduled for  tomorrow, but when I got to school today I found out that there would be a manditory faculty meeting tomorrow.   I called the clinic and asked them if I could come in today.   The lady on the phone looked me up and told me sure, you are not even scheduled for tomorrow.   I laughed and told her that Barb was probably really busy and last week there was so much excitement going on, since we found two babies growing!  So, I had the 7 week ultrasound today at 2.   I decided that I wanted to surprise Lee and Ty.   I did not call them to inform them of the change.  They still think that I am having the ultrasound at 3:30 tomorrow….hehehe!!   Since I changed the day, I had to drive back home from work before heading off to the appointment.   I decided this weekend that I would use my digital camera to record the ultrasound.  That way Lee and Ty will feel as if they were there two.  

So, here is the video….( it may stall but wait it will start up again on its own )

http://s59.photobucket.com/albums/g296/coachdenisek/?action=view¤t=100_0556.flv

Watch it first then finish reading, silly….

As you can see there are two strong heartbeats, it is so amazing!   What a releif, I have been so nervous.   What started out as a dream and love in Lee and Ty’s hearts, is now two tiny growing hearts!!   Congrats, Lee and Ty, I am overwhelmed with happiness for you!!   This is quite the experience, just can not put it into words.   I will say that I am a still a little bit worried, since I am 7 weeks and they are measuring 6 weeks 3 day.   Dr. Hickman does not seem concerned at all, and it does happen, Barb said maybe the babies are just small.  A fellow surro mentioned that the machines can be off by a day or two + or -.   Also, it is hard to get the longest measure of the fetal pole sometimes.   I will go back next week and check again.   Here are the pictures….

I sent Lee and Ty surprise e-mail at 6:10pm, then I called Lee’s phone at 6:15pm.  He answered and sounded a little out of sorts, so I said “Did I wake you up?”   He said ”Yes, it is early here, it is only 1:15am.”   I told him I was sorry, I had absolutely no idea what time is was over there, now I know they are 7 hours ahead.  Oppppps,  once again Lee I am sorry, love ya!!!   I told him that all I wanted was to tell them to check their e-mail. He laughed and said ok, I told him to get back to bed.   See, I am a huge dork. 

I just love being a surrogate, but let me tell you the mind games that it brings on are just crazy…LOL   First, you decide to be one, then you have to find a good match with some parents.  When you find the match, you have to get the contracts out of the way, so that is a wait and somewhat complicated.   So, you start cycling and hope you do everything right.   Then you wait and wait for the transfer.   You transfer and then wow, another wait to find out if it worked.    You get a postive home pregnancy test and you are optimistic, yet you need that blood test for true conformation.   So you get a good test result, but hang on, you have to take another blood test and pray that the numbers double.   They double and you can take a deep breath, yes it is true you are preggo!!    Now your mind is racing and wondering if you have one or MORE in there and are they healthy and strong.  So you wait again and finally get that ultrasound done.   In my case, it was wonderful and there were two, what a surprise, but unfortunately no heartbeat detected because it was still early.  Now you are overwhelmed with surprising news, yet nervous because you just hope they are growing and a heartbeat will show up the next week at the ultrasound.   The day arrives and hurray, two strong heartbeats, but wait they are measuring a few days behind.   Now I just have to hope that they pick up some and definitely do not get further behind.   I know that they are doing great.  I suppose you just can not help but worry.   So, yes another wait!!   Funny how you can not just get a perfect answer, but you never know what next week will bring.  In addition, I am just not myself it is too funny.   I am just not the type of person that worries very much.   I am typically very laid back and calm.   Makes me an odd mother, I do not freak out or anything, not overprotective.    With my own pregnancies, I jsut went about my days as usual, berely thought about, as my dad would say ”pregnancy is not even a minor inconvience for me”.   However surrogacy as you can see, has make me such a different person.  I will think about the smallest of things and notice everything about the pregnancy and worry as you have read.   It is just this deep heartfelt need to help someone else.  To bless another with a precious gift.    Go Twinkies Go!!   Looking forward to Alpha and Bravo’s next pictures.

So, I seem to worry alot about the babies.  I wonder if they are still growing strong and if they have a good heartbeat now.   It is just torment not knowing, but I will have the second ultrasound on Wednesday and that is only two days away…Yipee.    The nausia has picked back up now that I have reached 6 weeks, and will be 7 weeks tomorrow.   It is not really that bad and no hugging a toilet which is good!!  I can eat which is the best thing, because I love food and would be all the more crabby if I could not eat.   I had to tell Andrew not to let me eat sweets.   He is to yell at me if I eat any.    I am trying to be good since I can not exercise right now due to the Progesterone shots.   Yes, they are still bad and we even switched oils again.   I have been on cotton seed oil for three days and no real change.   I need to give up on that and suck it up!!   Hey, only two more weeks of shots I can do it.  

 I showed my kids the ultrasound pictures the other day and told them I have two babies in my tummy.  My son’s eyes got so big, he said “There are two, oh my, you are going to be huge!”   ”How can there be two in there?”   My daughter just said, “Can we buy them some clothes?”   She is too silly.  Then, I showed them a peanut and said that the babies are a tiny bit smaller than the peanut.   They tried to locate where the babies were in my belly.   It was all very cute.   They also said that Lee and Ty must be so happy and that they are going to be very busy!!

Lee, the dad, calls the twins Alpha and Bravo, since they are label baby A and baby B.  He is funny.   My husband calls them the twinkies.    I just might have to paint my belly like a twinkie wrapper for Halloween!!

Lee and Ty left early Sunday for Norway, and I already miss them.   I am dying to hear from them and make sure they got there and are doing well.   I am a dork, I forgot to get a webcam and set it up.   We are going to try to communicate with it.   Ok, so that is on my list for the weekend!!   I can blame it on the pregnancy, you forget stuff….

I know it is early but I already have a tiny tiny bump, check it out….

Well, for the past few weeks I have just been a basketcase!   Just worried that I am not preggo, it is just so silly.   I am just  feeling too good, no morning sickness to speek of, just slight weird feeling in the mornings.   I have also been sooooo hungry in the mornings, and most of all I am soooo exhausted!   It just hits me like a ton of bricks, my eyes get so heavy and I even feel myself  nod off and stuff.    My husband says that I am nervous because I know just how much this means to Lee and Ty.    I have seen their emotion and it is different than the last time I was a surrogate. 

Although I am doing so much better with my progesterone shots, something weird happened yesterday.   I was getting ready for Andrew to give my my shot, when I looked at my rear, the right side had two bloody spots on it.   I looked closer and noticed it was two open swores with bloody puss just oozing out…..sorry kinda gross.   The good thing is that it did not hurt, in fact it made the raised lumps on my bottom feel so much better.   Somehow it got infected and I think the other side is too.   I actually want the left side to ooze as well, it will feel better.   I can just feel this pressure on the lumps.   The nurse is going to switch me from the progesterone in Olive oil to Castor oil, I might be getting the infection from the oil.  I will not start that until Friday.

Ok, so the ultrasound results….

Yep, twins!    As soon as the screen poped up I noticed two sacs, but I just took a deep breath.   I had two sacs with the last surrogacy but one was empty, so I did not know what to expect.   Then, the ultrasound tech found two yolk sacs.   So now I am getting really anxious and confussed and the parents are just in aww and not sure what was going on except their chance of two was pretty darn huge.   So I was still holding my breath while she searched for an embryo pole in both sacs.   The babies are the size of a rice grain, so very difficult to find.  But she eventually found them!!

 Now, I am just completely shocked and in a major fog.   Plus, I almost started to cry.   I had every emotion possible running through me.   Lee and Ty were just too excited and probably overwhelmed and of course….SHOCKED!   They were so cute, huge grins was the only thing I could see!!   Ty nudged me and said “see you what you did, you said you felt like you were going to have twins even before that cancelled transfer!!”   So the nurse, Barb was elated as well and ran to get Dr. Hickman.   Now I have a party going on in the room with my legs up in the air, very funny!!   Hickman was so happy for the parents and agreed that yes there were two growing.   There is only a 50% chance to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks, so the tech looked for them.   She was able to find one, but very very subtle.   I will go back next week and there is 90% chance of seeing the heartbeat and then again at 8 weeks and that is a 100% chance of heartbeat.  Lee made me laugh, he just stood there holding the pictures, with this blank look, kind of to say “is this real, huh”.   They were so sweet to me and ever so grateful.    We had to say good bye, and I almost cried again!!   Gee, Ty did not even cry!  Andrew said that is probably because she just knew everything was good.

  I am sure that they are sad to leave the babies behind as they head off to Norway on Sunday.   I told them not worry, the babies are my first priority and I will take good care of them.   I just want them to enjoy the new adventure they are about to start.   Lee’s job opportunity in Norway is awesome and will be so good for them.  

As I am overwhelmed with joy, I am also apprehensive.   I know that one twin can fail quickly, so I do not want to be too certain that this is twins yet.   It is a weird feeling.   I am sure all will be just fine, but yet I do not want to be disappointed or see Lee and Ty upset.   I know that they only wanted one initially but now that there are two, the feelings change.  And of course no one wants to see one fail.   Ty said that whatever happens is going to be wonderful, and will be what God intends.  Wow, twins, I had a gut feeling last summer….how crazy!!   I am happy, I think it will be so neat to carry two and have them play in my tummy, it will be so amazying.   Plus, my tummy will be so huge and cute!!  Also, if they wanted two children and I only have one, then they would have to rely on only one frozen embryo to work.  Those are small odds.  This way they will already have two….hehehe!   I do not want to go on bedrest, so that is my goal, well besides staying preggo until at least 38 weeks, yes I like to challange my self, so lets see how well I do!!    I guess I have done a pretty darn good job so far!

 Lee and Ty:  I am just full of joy to have the chance to do this for you!   I will miss you terribly while you are away but do not worry I will have the webcam, camera and video out all the time, so really  it will be like you are still here!   Congrats mom and dad….times two!!