Serioulsy, it has been 4 weeks! It has just seems like 4 really long days to me. I am happy to say that there still have not been any set backs or difficult times for the twinkies. In fact, they went to the doctor on Friday and the boy now weighs 6.2 pounds and the girl 5.2 pounds! They have been growing and I just love that. If they had not been so excited to change up our plans, they would have been making their arrival this week on Thursday as that was our possible induction. Instead those cuties have been surrounded by abundant pure joy and love by their everyone for an extra month 
I can actually relax and say that today without filling up with sadness and guilt that they arrived early. I know it was not my fault and I had no control. Most importantly everything is fine and just as B has told me, her dreams have come true. After church today, I mentioned to my husband that I can not wait for next weeks sermon…it is about extraordinary peace. I told him that I feel restless inside for so many reasons and yes the early delivery is one thing spinning in my mind at times among other things and he said something interesting. He said ” why feel bad what could you have done…nothing. It was their time and also even if you did not have them that day, they would have come at some point, and no matter when their could have been problems but look they are great and the parents are so happy.” So true and so helpful..Oh I love him so.
Recovery from the c-section is going well. I feel much stronger and less sore. Only 2 more weeks and I will not be grounded anymore..LOL, I will be back at work and yes back to my running and exercising. The pumping is going well, I am getting more then last week, but I do wish with each pump I could get more. I did have a disaster a few days ago. I got up at 3 am and pumped. I was transfering the milk form the pumping tubes to a zipper bag and lost my hold of the bag…milk just went everywhere! Oh I was so upset, I started crying. I was mad at myself. You get up in the middle of the night to pump and then you spill it, plus I need all I can get!! That milk is like gold for the babies. So there I was crying and cleaning up the mess and I look up to see my son standing there. He said ” oh no mom, did you spill the milk? I am sorry.” At that very moment, a peace came over me and I was ok, I stopped and crying and realized it was ok. My son has always done that for me and strangely he has even gotten up several times in the middle of the night as if he knew I needed him. I can remember late at night when he was a toddler. I would be so exhausted and frustrated or really upset and he would come up and say hi or I love you.
As a surrogate, I do not always realize just how involved and how much we give of ourselves or sometimes how it effects my family. Don’t get me wrong my family loves that I do this, my kids and my husband support me and are excited about it all. As I was getting bigger and bigger with these twins there were a few things that were tough for me to do. We have tuck in riturals we do with our children and yes we still do it even though they are now 12 and just about to turn 10. My son calls it “the tuck in” . I had to stop laying in bed and doing the ‘tuck in” back in late Oct. and my kids understood it was hard for me to get down lay down and then roll out of the bed to get up again. When I got home from the hospital after delivery. My son said ” come on mom we have the tuck in” , but I still could not due to the c-section delivery. Well during the 3 week after delivery, I began to feel so much better and I was able to “tuck in” again. It was so sweet to see how much that meant to my kids. They both lit up. Touched my heart to know that such a small thing makes a big impact in their lives and they feel loved and cared for.
So if someone says ”wow your a surrogate how can you do that”? Here is just one of endless reasons and pictrues of the growing twinkies…
