Archive for December, 2015

Decisions??

A few weeks ago, my husband came into the kitchen while I was cooking.  He looked at me and said, “Who am I to say no to something that makes you happy.  If you want to help D and B, then I am totally on board.”  I asked if he was sure, if he was worried or had objections.  He said, no.  I told him I really want to help them, however there a few set backs for me that have me nervous, such as c-section, family needs, and well, what if my body is not up for it?   Now that Andrew is ready, I continued to pray for the next 2 days.

On Dec. 9th, I made up my mind.  I came up with a creative way to tell B and D.  Dec. 10th is the twins birthday.

I called B and I wished the twins Happy Birthday.  I then told her I have a special gift for the family….I wanted to carry siblings for them 🙂

And away we go on a Sibling Journey!

Time to Catch Up!

Oh my, I have not posted anything since 2012!   I am past due to update on my life.  After I had the Gabriel twins, from my 4th surrogacy jouney, my husband and I decided that would be the last time I carry.   I was getting older and the quick delivery, emergency c-section had shaken up Andrew a bit.  I was offered a job with a surrogacy agency to help coordinate surrogates and intended parents.   I stopped teaching May 2012 and started off on the new job full force.  Although there was so much I loved and enjoyed about the work, there were a few down sides.  I also  realized that I missed my job teaching and coaching.  I went back to teaching and coaching in Aug 2o13.  God placed me in the greatest situation too, I got hired at the same middle school where my son was an 8th grader.  Little did I know it was also a stepping stone to my current role as middle school girl’s  athletic coordinator at the new school that opened in the district.

Honestly, after going back to teaching, I have not been interacting with the surrogacy world.  I have been focused on work and my amazing children.  Madison is currently in 8th grade and Anthony is in 10th grade.  Both are great students and play several sports.  I have even had the opportunity to coach my girl in middle school.  Andrew stopped coaching and teaching at the middle school level.  He is an elementary school PE teacher and everyone just loves him.  Hard to realize how the years have just passed by.  The first surrogacy boy, (Winter) is now 10, the 2nd boy (Trace) is 8, the boy/boy twins (Castle and Ryder) are 6 and the other set of  boy/girl twins  (Brooks and Elise) are 4 years old!!

Back in July, we traveled up to Dallas for Anthony’s big summer basketball tournament.  I decided to check in with B, to  see if they would be in town to visit family.  Not only would they be in town, they finally were able to move there from Utah as they had planned to do for years 🙂   I was so excited!  We set up a plan for B and D along with Brooks and Elise to meet up with my family.     After my son’s last game, we headed over to Dave and Busters for a little reunion.  The twins were a hoot and so adorable.  It meant so very much to me, to catch up and chat with B.  Plus, to see B and D with the twins and how amazing they are as parents.  Funny thing….not once did it dawn on me, that I actually carried and delivered the twins.  Later, I was like “ha, oh yeah I did that”!    As B and I talked, I  asked if they planned to have more babies.  With a sweet little smile, B says “Actually we want lots of babies,  and we are so ready for more now.  I know you and Andrew were thinking no more pregnancies, and I do not want to pressure you, but if you would consider carrying again for us, we would be honored”.  I paused as I tried to be rational and not just say….Yes, Yes!  Obviously, I could not just say, yes.   I actually have a few reasons to say no, plus I needed to discuss it with my family.   I told her that it is not out of the realm of possibility and that I will talk it over with my family.  She told me take my time.

Madison was the first one, I talked to about the sibling surrogacy.  She totally lit up with joy.  She told me “I had to do it”.  She loves that I have been a surrogate, she loves me being pregnant, and she adores the Gabriels.  As I started with reasons for and against, she simply said, “mom you can do it, and it will be great”.

Just the right time finally came about a week later, and I shared the idea with Andrew.   He said, “surprisingly, I am not just at a No.  I thought if you ever asked me it would be a No.  However, they are a great couple and I will always want to help them out.   Part of me does not think we should endure surrogacy again, but I will think about it, give me some time.”  He also said it was a bad time and he will not even consider it all until we find out what is wrong with Anthony.   Over the past year, Anthony’s breathing capacity was declining.  He went from playing 4 quarters straight in a basketball game to needed a break after only a few mins.  It was gradual but between Feb and July it was a devastating situation for Anthony and the family.  During that time we had 20 doc appointments, saw 8 doctors and finally found out all 4 of his sinus cavities were 90% blocked with MRSA.   He had surgery on Aug 29th and it was a success.  He is now back to playing 4 quarters, breathing fine.

In the meantime, my brain was stirring.

The reasons to carry again…I am healthy, I love pregnancy, I love the family, it is so hard to find a good surrogate, a new experience getting to help with siblings, Madison would love it, it makes me feel joyful to help ..

The reasons not to carry again…C-section, recovery, I am getting old, unknown complications, risks, my family needs me, I am busy, my husband might not feel safe, my mom might be too worried, I might get told no by the doctor, work issues…